Loneliness

Hi, I am back again with my blog, but will not post as often as last time when I was actively writing. Just had a feeling to write something about it and share it with people. All my post or what I write is my own opinion, you have all the right to agree and disagree.

For those who read my previous posts might know that I start the post with my own stories (but my previous posts are mostly written in Indonesia, but now I will write full in English and sorry for my bad English) but for those who are new here, you may skip the whole story part if it is too long, cos my post are usually superrrr longgggggg..... :P

Loneliness....

"sad from being apart from other people; causing sad feelings that come from being apart from other people; not visited by or traveled on by many people" - according to Merriam Webster

(taken from http://www.bestsayingsquotes.com/files/loneliness-quotes-images-for-facebook-4-56113c13.jpg)


Loneliness could come into your life in different forms. It doesn't specifically mean that you don't have any friends as some people with hundreds or thousands of friend might feel lonely too.

I have been staying alone in this country (Singapore) for around 5 years now, well my oldest sister is in Singapore but I don't live with her as she has her own family. Came here for study and now working; through 5 years I have made local and international friend but not that much because I am a really shy guy to meet someone new and I am an extremely introverted person (some doesn't believe me as sometimes I talk so much or I don't behave like one). Being said, so it is not easy for me to make friends and to be close with someone as I don't really share my feelings openly, rather keep it to myself.

So this is one of the way I express my feeling, through writing. I am not a good writer nor blogger but I feel like I could express myself better written than spoken.

Going back to the title, have I ever felt lonely?

-Yes.

Don't you have friends there? and even your sister is there, so why still feel lonely?

-Yes I have my sister and friend here but I still can feel lonely.

Why?

-Because most of people that I feel comfortable with, that I consider more than just friend are not here. They are in another country, which is Indonesia (I grew there though I was born in Korea).

And some people might ask 'isn't it painful to go through it?'

It does. but I feel like I am so used to it so I am kinda fine with it. How I overcame that was first of all, God. Have a close relationship with God, though you feel like no one is there physically, when you realize it, God is always there for you, watching over you.

But I am human after all, I sometime fail to see that not because He is not there, but because I look away. I do have a problem which is 'overthinking' which is deadly, it makes you fear of so many things that don't even exist and because of that I get stress a lot. That's the time I usually really need someone who can comfort me or just at least be together with me.

 And another problem is, though I have friends who are there to listen but I am not that easy to open up to others, as I don't want to waste their time listening to my stories or even make them to think 'what should I do or say to calm this guy?'.

 I have been trying so many things to get things out of my head, to free myself from stress. I have been traveling alone to somewhere new (well people still ask me, don't you feel lonely if you travel alone?); not to make local friends there but I just want to expose myself to somewhere new. While traveling to avoid feeling lonely is plan properly, keep yourself busy all the time, so you won't have a time to even think about being lonely hahaha. But the pressure come from others, when people start to ask me question like don't you feel lonely or when the give a 'pity' look when I eat alone in a restaurant, and because of that pressure we start to question ourselves and feel it.

 Apart from traveling alone, I do go back to Indonesia quite often because the rest of my Fam apart from my 1st sister is there, my GF is there and my best friends are there. For those who ass me why I go back to Indonesia so often it's because of them. I really miss them. Or sometime even my GF might not understand to visit there often, or say that I miss her too often (she is a really 'cool' girl haha I am brave enough to say it here as I highly doubt she will read my blog),  but it is because when I am with someone I love I could relax, forget about all the worries that I have. Going back often of course will use up lots of money, maybe that's why my GF thinks that I am wasting my money.

Well saving money is important but I feel like there is no point of having so much money but no time to spend it with you dearest ones.

So I am closing my story here, if you like to hear more or ask about something, please feel free to contact me. And usual, I will be closing with some messages.

"Appreciate people who are always there for you, they are the biggest asset you have in your life, not your money"

Like I have just said, appreciate them. There are actually people who you don't even realize that they care, but they really care about you. Try to open up yourself, I know it is tough and it is not a rocket science. You need time as I am still doing it and trying to learn.

The most important thing is, understand God's love for yo first, because He is the one who first loved us.  He is always there for you, and He loves you unconditionally.

Don't worry, don't keep it to yourself. When you share what you are going through, you will feel much better. People who listen to you might not give the best advice but at least they are there to listen to you and try the best to comfort you.

Remember you are loved.

Besides that, don't worry I am doing fine :)